Commission a Memorial
The process of commissioning a memorial is unfamiliar to most people. For many of us, this is the only time we’ll ever have something specially-made; just for us. An artist can help a client develop his ideas. It’s helpful to talk with somebody who knows what’s possible – with lettering, varieties of stone, and carving techniques. Working together, the client and artist are sure to come up with a richer design and a more meaningful memorial.
A new commission is always welcome but it’s especially gratifying if I can work with a former client. Some time ago I made the gravestone for Debbie’s husband and now she and her sister asked me to make a stone for their parents. We discussed the project over a cup of coffee and a bit of cake that my husband had just brought back from Holland. Having already experienced the manner of my work, Debbie came fully prepared. I like to “get to know” the person who has died. Anything that can facilitate this process is helpful and will make the memorial more personal Debbie brought a cd of photos and filled both sides of an A4 sheet with memories of her parents and the events of their lives. Family holidays, the achievements of a career, close friendships, wacky hobbies, beloved pets; the list goes on and on and weaves the unique fabric of our lives. I’m always deeply moved by how extraordinary we ordinary people are. This was once again confirmed by Debbie’s parents.
After a bit of discussion, the sisters decided they wanted a rhododendron decoration on the stone because these had been in the family garden and a favorite flower. They also wanted a carving of two swans like they’d seen on a piece of my earlier work. The swans meet to form a heart shape and evoke a gentle and natural devotion. From my previous work with Debbie, I knew she’d want bright colors and a vibrant design so I already had some images forming in my head.
But there is always a bit of work to do too. The sisters wanted an epitaph for their parents but couldn’t find something suitable. This can be so difficult. How can you find the right small sentence when there are so many things to say about a person’s life? Debbie’s parents were Christians and so they wanted a text from the bible but they also wanted something personal. We puzzled over it for a while but came to no conclusion. Finally I told them I’d read through all of the things Debbie had collected and think about it. We left it at that.
I spent the next day looking through everything Debbie had given me and thinking about her parents. One phrase from the funeral service kept returning to my mind, It was from a reading in the book of Zephaniah.
Sing and shout for joy, people of Israel!
Rejoice with all your heart, Jerusalem!
The Lord has ended our punishment.
He has removed all your enemies.
The Lord, the king of Israel, is with you;
There is no reason now to be afraid.
The time is coming when they will say to Jerusalem,
Do not be afraid, city of Zion!
Do not let your hands hand limp!
The Lord your God is with you;
His power gives you victory.
The Lord will take delight in you,
And in his love he will give you new life.
He will sing and be joyful over you
As joyful as people at a festival.
The Lord will take delight in you, And in his love he will give you new life. This text seemed to express the things Debbie and her sister had told me about their parents and what they wanted the stone to say. I emailed them for their reaction and they were in hearty agreement. It is a beautiful epitaph.
Now its time to think about the design…